But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it because I queefed?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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