no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is Oprah even human
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
