i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize