he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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