We won't sleep together?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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