why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
