Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
either way he was missing a nipple.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
