Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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