he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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