My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
