I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I believe in your delicious
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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