There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
