it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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