someone threw a dead crab at me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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