i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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