dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
