Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
