Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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