So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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