What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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