I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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