maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
