Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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