Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i need some magic done to my vagina
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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