ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
