I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
