You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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