come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
