I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
