Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
