i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I touched a dick in church today
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
