Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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