Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
