Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Will exercising make me less horny?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
