I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
