At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
