North Korea, Best Korea!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The ass gains better be worth it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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