Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
