I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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