dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
