Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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