he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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