my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
