in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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