So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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