So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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