Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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