I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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