Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
