dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
