he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
