i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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