I wish I could punch you in the face.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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