so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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