so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
