i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
