You made me cry and you don't even care
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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