Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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