As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
