I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
