I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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