How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
