you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
