I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
